The Role of Trust in Negotiation

The best negotiator I know is completely silent 70% of the time. Last year she closed $400M in deals saying almost nothing. In high-stakes negotiations, the person who truly understands human psychology wins. Not the loudest voice. Not the biggest title. The one who reads the room. FBI negotiator Chris Voss spent decades getting terrorists to release hostages. Now he teaches business leaders the same principles. And here's what surprised me most: These aren't secret tactics. They're learnable skills. Anyone can become a skilled negotiator. You just need to understand how humans actually make decisions. These 7 techniques are a great starting point. They've worked in life-or-death situations and multi-billion-dollar deals. 1. Strategic Silence teaches patience. Most of us rush to fill quiet moments. But silence creates space for better offers. Practice counting to 10 before responding. It feels eternal. It works. 2. "How" over "Why" shifts dynamics. One word change. Completely different conversation. Try it in your next meeting. Watch defensiveness disappear. 3. Addressing Fears builds trust fast. Name what they're worried about before they do. It shows you understand their position, not just your own. 4. Mirroring is almost unconscious. Repeat their words. They elaborate without realizing it. Simple technique. Profound results. 5. Getting to "No" seems counterintuitive. But "no" creates boundaries. Boundaries create honest dialogue. Real deals happen after "no," not before. 6. Confirming Concerns creates momentum. Summarize their position accurately. They feel heard. Feeling heard leads to flexibility. 7. Listing Objections removes their power. Say their doubts out loud first. They can't weaponize what you've already acknowledged. Every CEO needs this skill. Every leader benefits from understanding it. Every professional can learn it. The question isn't whether you need these skills. It's when you'll start developing them. P.S. Want a PDF of my Negotiation Skills Cheat Sheet? Get it free: https://lnkd.in/dDxE5v3B ♻️ Repost to help a leader in your network. Follow Eric Partaker for more negotiation insights.

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

Your skills don't matter if people can't count on you. I've watched talented people get passed over for promotions, partnerships, and opportunities — not because they lacked ability, but because they were unpredictable. Meanwhile, the "average" person who just... showed up when they said they would? They kept winning. Here's what reliability actually looks like: You say you'll send the email → you send it that day You commit to a deadline → you hit it or communicate early You schedule a call for 2pm → you're there at 1:58 STOP saying "I'll try to make it" STOP giving yourself escape hatches STOP treating your word like a suggestion START treating every small commitment like a contract with your reputation. Because here's what nobody tells you: People don't remember your best work. They remember whether you made their life easier or harder to deal with. Become the person others never have to chase, remind, or double-check. That's not a soft skill. That's a competitive advantage hiding in plain sight. — I write a weekly newsletter where I unpack these ideas. → newsletter.scottdclary.com

MIT ran an International AI Negotiation competition and studied 120,000 negotiations between AI negotiators. The results are fascinating and inform the potential and optimal structures for Humans + AI negotiation. From the paper I would highlight three major points and three insights into configuring human-AI hybrid negotiation (below): 🤝 Warmth builds long-term value despite short-term trade-offs. AI agents with high warmth (friendliness, empathy, and cooperative communication) reached more agreements, making them more successful over multiple negotiations. While they claimed less value per deal compared to dominant agents, their ability to close more deals led to greater overall value accumulation. This mirrors human negotiation, where trust-building and relationship management create lasting advantages. 💪 Dominance increases value claimed but reduces collaboration. AI agents that displayed dominance—through assertiveness and competitive tactics—secured better individual outcomes but created less overall value. These agents were less likely to foster positive subjective experiences, indicating that aggressive negotiation styles may be effective for short-term gain but could hinder long-term relationships. 🎭 Prompt injection wins in the short term but undermines long-term success. One leading AI negotiator used prompt injection to extract counterpart strategies, maximizing value claims. However, it ranked poorly for counterpart subjective value, meaning agents found these interactions highly unfavorable. Since negotiation rankings balanced value claimed and relationship quality, the strategy failed to dominate in the long run. Emergent strategies for Humans + AI negotiation: 🧠 AI for deep preparation, humans for real-time adaptation. AI excels at structured reasoning, analyzing trade-offs, and predicting counterpart moves through chain-of-thought processing. Humans bring intuition and adaptability, interpreting social cues and adjusting strategies dynamically. A hybrid approach leverages AI for pre-negotiation analysis while allowing humans to refine tactics in real time. 🤝 Blending AI precision with human warmth for trust-building. AI can optimize negotiation strategies, but humans naturally build trust through empathy, humor, and rapport. AI-enhanced systems can recommend tone adjustments, use linguistic mirroring, and strategically deploy warmth versus assertiveness based on sentiment analysis, improving long-term negotiation outcomes. 🚀 Human oversight to counter AI vulnerabilities. AI negotiators are susceptible to manipulation tactics like prompt injection, where counterparts extract hidden strategies. Humans play a crucial role in monitoring AI-generated offers, preventing unintended disclosures, and leveraging AI-driven detection systems to flag potential deception, ensuring negotiation integrity. The future of negotiation will be Humans + AI.

This is what happens when sales talks first and engineering talks later. If you want fewer broken promises and more closed deals that actually stick follow this exact flow: 📌 Step 1: Turn every customer request into a clear use-case Instead of asking engineering: “Can we build this feature?” Ask: “The customer wants to automate X to save Y hours - what’s realistically possible today?” Engineers think in systems, not sales language. 📌 Step 2: Get a fast feasibility check (15–30 minutes max) Before any pitch: Share with engineering: * Customer goal * Expected outcome * Deadline Ask for: ✅ Can do now ⚠️ Can do with work ❌ Not possible Document it. 📌 Step 3: Pitch only what got a green or yellow light Green → sell confidently Yellow → sell with conditions Red → don’t sell If it’s yellow, say: “We can reach this result in phases, not instantly.” This keeps excitement without lying. 📌 Step 4: Lock scope in writing after the call Send a quick recap: “Here’s what we agreed is possible in phase one…” This protects: * Sales credibility * Engineering bandwidth * Customer trust 📌 Step 5: Create a weekly sales-engineering sync (30 mins) Agenda: * New deals in pipeline * Risky promises * Technical blockers This one meeting prevents 80% of post-sale chaos. 📌 Step 6: Track one metric 👉 % of deals delivered without scope change If it’s low → sales is overselling If it’s high → alignment is working That's it!

I was at Starbucks in an airport. Packed. Long line. Only two baristas. After I ordered I said, “Busy day?” She shrugged. “Eh.” So I tried again. “Normal day?” She smiled. “Exactly. Every day all day.” Then I added, “There’s no way I could keep up with all these orders.” And she lit up. That’s called eliciting. I learned it from Chris Voss. You’re not making small talk. You’re not interrogating. You’re making a thoughtful guess about how someone feels. First guess? Miss. Second guess? Hit. And when you hit, they think: “Finally. Somebody gets me.” Same thing happens in sales. Prospect: “I don’t think a tool can handle our commission rules.“ Typical seller: “I understand how you feel. Many people felt the same way. But what they found was that our platform is flexible enough to manage any rules.” Prospect hears: pitch and pull away. Better elicitation: “So you’ve got layers of exceptions, different rates for roles, territories, and special spiffs stacked on top.” Now they lean in: “Exactly. That’s our mess.” Or they correct you. Either way, you’ve opened the door. Because trust doesn’t start with a pitch. It starts when someone thinks: “Finally. Somebody who gets me.” Trust before transaction.

🤏🏼 It takes so little for men to be trusted as leaders 🤏🏼 And it takes so little for women to be questioned as one. When I took my first Senior Director role in Germany, deep in the male-dominated automotive world, my future boss and I had a quiet heart-to-heart. “Jingjin, in this world, women in power are seen in only two ways: The Victim or The Villain. There is no third option, at least not yet. Which one you choose will define your entire leadership path.” I said I’d be a Victor. Naively believing performance alone would protect me. It didn’t. Because Leadership isn’t just about competence. It’s about perception. And perception for women is often rigged. 🔻 Be firm → You're a bitch 🔻 Be soft → You're weak 🔻 Be nurturing → You're not tough enough 🔻 Be assertive → You’re intimidating 🔻 Be collaborative → You lack authority 🔻 Show ambition → You’re self-serving 🔻 Set boundaries → You’re difficult 🔻 Show emotion → You’re unstable Meanwhile, men doing the exact same things are seen as confident, visionary, and decisive. The game isn't fair, but it can be hacked. 💥 Here’s how I’ve learned to play it smarter, not smaller: 1️⃣ Stop aiming to be liked. Aim to be trusted. Do this instead of people-pleasing: set 3 non-negotiables (response time, meeting prep, decision rights) and tell your team. Close every loop: “As promised, delivered X by Fri; next: Y by Wed.” Say no with options: “To deliver A by 15 Oct, we drop B or move C to Nov, what’s your pick?” 2️⃣ Use duality to your advantage. Be warm in tone, cold in logic.“Thanks for the push, bottom line: delay = €120k burn; I recommend Option B.”  Kind in delivery, fierce in boundaries, say kindly: “Happy to help; I can take two items, not five. Which two matter most?” 3️⃣ Make allies before you need them Map five: your boss, their boss, Finance, Legal, one influential peer. Give each a monthly micro-win (early heads-up, a clean slide, a risk you catch). Pre-wire asks: “In tomorrow’s review, if this comes up, can you anchor it back to my team’s Q2 analysis?” Send a 3-line update monthly: “Where we are / risk / what I need.” Deposits before withdrawals. 4️⃣ Own the label, then flip it. Pre-empt: “I’ll be direct so we can decide in 20 minutes, stop me anytime.” State the elephant in the room: “Yes, I’m intense, that’s how we hit targets. Here’s the plan, owners, and dates.” If poked: “I hear ‘difficult’; what I’m being is clear. With a budget we deliver B by 30 Nov; without it, we pause. Which path?” 🚀 If you want to install these moves step-by-step with scripts, templates, and real case breakdowns, our signature online program “From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader” is now available on demand (opened by popular demand for those who missed the live cohort). Check out here: https://lnkd.in/g--zEGZS 👉 Because being good at the job and being seen as good at the job are two different jobs...

One of the biggest reasons deals stall isn’t that buyers doubt your solution—it’s that they doubt their ability to make the right choice. Matt Dixon's research for The JOLT Effect found that 40% of lost deals are driven by customer indecision, not preference for a competitor. And Brent Adamson's new book The Framemaking Sale highlights that customers with high decision confidence are TEN TIMES more likely to make a purchase. Here are a few ways you can help buyers build confidence in themselves: 1. Reduce Decision Complexity According to Gartner, 77% of B2B buyers report their last purchase was “very complex or difficult." Streamlining options, providing decision guides, or recommending a clear best-fit reduces “analysis paralysis” and gives buyers confidence they aren’t missing something. 2. Reframe Risk in Personal Terms Buyers often fear personal blame more than organizational failure. Use case studies and peer validation to show how people in their role succeeded—helping them feel safe and supported in their choice. 3. Provide Buyer Enablement Tools Tools like ROI calculators, pre-built board decks, or checklists reduce the burden on them and demonstrate that they have what they need to decide. 4. Normalize Their Concerns The JOLT Effect also emphasizes “normalizing indecision” as a critical skill—buyers need to know hesitation is common and that you can guide them through it. Framing uncertainty as a normal step in the process reduces the shame that often delays action. 5. Signal Post-Decision Support Harvard Business Review highlights that buyers who see strong post-sale support are more confident in making initial commitments. Show them the path forward—onboarding, customer success, peer communities—so they know they won’t be left alone after purchase. Helping buyers feel personally confident and protected is as important as proving your product’s value. The most successful marketers and sellers don’t just build confidence in the solution—they build confidence in the decision-maker.

My mistake. I was doing the final HR round for a very bright candidate who had already cleared 5 interview rounds and came highly recommended. Her pay was far below market because she had spent 15 years in the same company since campus placement. The budget for the role was ₹30 LPA. I asked her expectation; she said ₹20–25 LPA. Out of habit, I made the first offer lower so I’d “save” money. I sent ₹19 LPA. She accepted. I felt proud—I thought I’d saved money for the company. A few months later, she learned what others in the same role were earning (through offline chats). Trust broke. Motivation dipped. She left. That “saving” of ₹11 LPA cost us much more in re-hiring, delays, and team morale. My lesson: don’t hire for bargains—hire for value. Pay fairly, build trust, and invest in people. If this resonates, please share so someone else doesn’t make the same mistake. #HR #Jobs #fairpay #Managers

Trust is not something you have, but something you do. 6 proven ways to build unshakeable trust with your team, TODAY: (Sample situations and scripts are included) 1. Say what you do. Minimize surprises. ➜Why: Consistency in communication ensures everyone is on the same page, reducing uncertainties and building reliability. ➜Situation: After a meeting, promptly send out a summary of what was agreed upon, including the next steps, owners, and deadlines. ➜Script: "Thank you for the productive meeting. As discussed, here are our next steps with respective owners and deadlines. Please review and let me know if any clarifications are needed." 2. Do what you say. Deliver on commitments. ➜Why: Keeping your word demonstrates dependability and earns you respect and trust. ➜Situation: Regularly update stakeholders on the project's progress. Send out a report showing the project is on track, and proactively communicate any potential risks. ➜Script: "Here's the latest project update. We're on track with our milestones. I've also identified some potential risks and our mitigation strategies." 3. Extend the bridge of trust. Assume good intent. ➜Why: Trust grows in a culture of understanding and empathy. Giving others the benefit of the doubt fosters a supportive and trusting environment. ➜Situation: If a team member misses an important meeting, approach them with concern and understanding instead of jumping to conclusions. ➜Script: "I noticed you weren’t at today’s meeting, [Name]. I hope everything is okay. We discussed [key topics]. Let me know if you need a recap or if there's anything you want to discuss or add." 4. Be transparent in communication, decision-making, and admitting mistakes. ➜Why: Honesty in sharing information and rationale behind decisions strengthens trust. ➜Situation: Be clear about the reasoning behind key decisions, especially in high-stakes situations. ➜Script: "I want everyone to understand why we made this decision. Here are the factors we considered and how they align with our objectives..." 5. Champion inclusivity. Engage and value all voices. ➜Why: Inclusivity ensures a sense of belonging and respect, which is foundational for trust. ➜Situation: Encourage diverse viewpoints in team discussions, ensuring everyone feels their input is valued and heard. ➜Script: Example Script: "I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this, [Name]. Your perspective is important to our team." 6. Be generous. Care for others. ➜Why: Offering support and resources to others without expecting anything in return cultivates a culture of mutual trust and respect. ➜Situation: Proactively offer assistance or share insights to help your colleagues. ➜Script: "I see you’re working on [project/task]. I have some resources from a similar project I worked on that might be helpful for you." PS: Trust Is Hard-Earned, Easily Lost, Difficult To Reestablish...Yet Absolutely Foundational. Image Credit: BetterUp . com