Managing Perfectionism in Leadership

🗣️“You must be more assertive.” Last year, those five words burned into Amy’s memory. She’d walked out of her 2023 review at XYZ Global determined to “step up.” Speak more in meetings. Push harder on decisions. Stop softening her tone so she wouldn’t intimidate anyone. She did exactly that. Fast forward 12 months. Same conference room. Same 2 VPs across the table. 🔇“You’ve become too intense, need to work on softening your approach.” 😑 Amy stared at them, speechless. Wasn’t that what you asked for last year? Which version of me do you actually want? She thought about the past year: 🤔 The time she challenged a flawed budget forecast in front of the CFO, saving the company $3 million, but earning whispers that she was “abrasive.” 🤔 The time she stepped in to rescue a failing project, praised for her “grit” publicly, yet privately told she “dominated the room.” 🤔 The time she finally got invited to an executive offsite, only to overhear a VP say, “She’s great, but can be… a lot.” This is the tightrope trap senior women walk daily: • Be assertive, but not too assertive. • Be collaborative, but don’t fade into the background. • Be visible, but not “hungry.”    The same behavior praised in men (decisive, strong leader) gets women penalized as abrasive or too much. Until you set the narrative yourself, you’re trapped performing for a moving target. If you’re exhausted from balancing on a wire men don’t even see, here’s how to step off it and still rise. 1. Audit the pattern, not just the feedback • Track every piece of feedback, especially contradiction. Patterns reveal bias. If the goal keeps moving, it's not you! • Phrase to use in review: “Last year I was encouraged to increase my presence; this year I’m told to soften it. Can we clarify what success really looks like?”    2. Control the frame before the room does • Pre‑set the narrative in 1:1s and emails leading up to reviews. I.e., “This year I focused on driving results while bringing the team with me, you’ll see that reflected in project X and Y.” • This primes leadership to view your assertiveness as an intentional strategy, not a personality flaw.    3. Build echo chambers, not just results • Secure 2–3 allies who reinforce your strengths in rooms you’re not in. • Promotions happen in the absence, you need people echoing your narrative, not someone else’s. • Phrase to brief an ally: “If my leadership style comes up in review, can you speak to how I challenge decisions but still align the team?”    Women aren’t just asked to deliver results. They’re asked to perform, decode, and reframe, all while walking a wire men don’t even see. If you’re exhausted from balancing between “too soft” and “too aggressive,” stop walking the wire and start controlling the narrative. Join the waitlist of our next cohort of ⭐ From Hidden Talent to Visible Leaders ⭐ https://lnkd.in/gx7CpGGR 👊 Because leadership shouldn’t feel like an impossible balancing act.

Many leaders I observe aren't failing because they make bad decisions. They're failing because they make no decisions, or not enough and not fast enough. Last week, I started coaching an executive at a large consumer goods company who told me he spent three months with his team perfecting a launch plan. Market conditions shifted. Competitors moved. His “perfect” plan launched into a world that no longer exists. Meanwhile, another leader ships something rough in three weeks, learns what breaks, fixes it, and is two iterations ahead. It´s like you're staring at a wall you need to cross. One ladder is crudely assembled, a few bolts missing, slightly wobbly. But it's finished, and it gets you over. Next to it sits another ladder, beautifully crafted, perfectly engineered. Except it's even not half-built. You can admire it all you want. It's useless. Unfinished perfection is responsible: "We're being thorough. We're mitigating risk." What you're actually doing is outsourcing decisions to an imaginary future where you'll have perfect information. That future never comes. Five practical ways I work with coachees to break the pattern: 1) Ship before you're comfortable. If you feel fully ready, you've waited too long. 2) Define "good enough" upfront. What's the minimum that tests your core assumption? Everything else is decoration. 3) Make reversible decisions fast, irreversible ones carefully. Most decisions aren't irreversible. Stop treating them like they are. 4) Reward speed of learning, not quality of first execution. If your culture punishes rough drafts, people hide behind perfectionism. 5) Kill projects that don't ship. If something has been "almost ready" for six months, either ship it quickly or kill it. Yep! Ugly action exposes you. So what? Or would you prefer that “false” perfectionism protects your ego? It only lets you maintain the illusion of competence without ever testing it against reality. On the other hand, reality rewards people who move. Who learn. Who iterate. The gap between where you are and where you need to be doesn't close through planning. It closes through motion. Let's swing into action and improve as we go. Step by step. *********************** I'm an executive coach, scholar, and sparring partner to leaders and entrepreneurs worldwide. Former senior executive at Amazon, L’Oréal, and Chewy, and board member at Tchibo.

The last time I waited to feel confident, I looked up and 10 years had passed. The feeling I was chasing? READINESS. And I am not alone. A client of mine spent over 15 years in the same role. She mentored others, delivered results, and stayed loyal, all while telling herself she’d make a move when she felt ready. By the time she finally spoke up, 3 of the people she had trained had already been promoted ahead of her. Not 1, THREE! It wasn’t that she lacked experience or talent. Patience just felt like the responsible thing. But what she was really doing was waiting for permission, hoping someone would say, “You’re ready now.” I know that pattern because I lived it too. I spent the first decade of my career as what I now call an invisible contributor. I stayed quiet, dependable, and focused. I thought that if I just kept doing good work, someone would eventually tap me on the shoulder and say it was my turn. But my shoulder stayed cold. Here’s what I’ve learned: If you treat readiness like a destination, you will NEVER arrive. Because readiness is just self-doubt in disguise. It is the story we tell ourselves when we are quietly waiting our turn. Waiting your turn starts as 1year, then becomes 5, then becomes 20. Waiting for your turn is for amusement parks. It is for grocery stores. It is not for your career. It is not for your goals. It is not for your life. The longer you "wait," the less likely you are to "do it." Speak life into your next move. And go. -- Hi, I’m April, a former Exec, and I help women leaders (Mgrs, Senior Manager, Director, and above) "skip the line" to executive roles by building influence, presence, and communication that commands the room.

What’s really holding you back? Spoiler alert: It’s not your skills. How many times have you felt like you’re not up for the job? That you’re not qualified? Or that someone else could do it better? Here’s the reality: ➡️ 13% of employees and 20% of senior managers admit they frequently feel like a fraud. ➡️ 54% of women report experiencing imposter syndrome, compared to 38% of men. I get it, because I’ve been there. I used to struggle with being visible - giving speeches, creating content online, even doing TV interviews. Despite decades of experience, there was always a little voice in my head whispering: “Do people really want to hear from you? What if they laugh at you?” Here’s the truth: It’s not based on facts - it’s just the noise in our heads. Here’s how you can overcome imposter syndrome and show up like you deserve to: 1/ The Imposter Loop ↳ You doubt every win and question every achievement. ↳ Own your story: You earned your seat at the table. ↳ Write down three wins you’re proud of. Seeing them silences the noise. 2/ The Permission Trap ↳ You wait to feel ready or for someone to say “go.” ↳ Stop waiting: Start before you’re ready. ↳ Set a deadline and commit publicly - action builds momentum faster than waiting for confidence to strike. 3/ The Comparison Game ↳ You stalk others’ success and compare your chapter 1 to their chapter 20. ↳ Run your own race: Their doubts, fears, and failures aren’t in the highlight reel. ↳ Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection. 4/ The Perfectionism Loop ↳ You polish endless drafts, overthink every detail, and never feel “good enough.” ↳ Launch at 80%: Fix it in flight. Done is better than perfect. ↳ Set a timer for your next task and stop when it’s ‘good enough.’ Progress beats perfection every time. 5/ The Silence Spiral ↳ You keep your struggles hidden and pretend you’ve got it all figured out. ↳ Share your story: You’ll be surprised how many people say “me too.” ↳ Find a peer or mentor and share one struggle you’re facing. Vulnerability builds connection. 6/ The Safety Net ↳ You stay in your comfort zone and call it “being realistic.” ↳ Take the leap: Growth lives outside your comfort zone. ↳ Identify one “safe” habit you’re clinging to. Replace it with one bold action, no matter how small. 7/ The Knowledge Shield ↳ You hide behind preparation, waiting to know “just one more thing.” ↳ Start doing: Expertise comes from action. ↳ Turn learning into doing: Commit to acting on one idea from the last book, course, or workshop you completed. What would be possible if you silenced those doubts once and for all? For me, it meant saying yes to opportunities I used to avoid - like speaking on stage and sharing my story. ⤵️ Have you ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? How did you work through it? ♻️ Share this post to remind someone they’re not alone. 🔔 Follow me, Jen Blandos, for advice on business, entrepreneurship, and well-being.

We've been conditioned to believe that "good" women make themselves smaller: speak softer, apologize more, defer quicker. But being a leader isn't about shrinking to fit other people's comfort zones. It's about expanding to fill the role that your vision, expertise, and impact deserve. And yet, we still catch ourselves minimizing our contributions in meetings, hedging our statements with "I think maybe..." and literally making ourselves smaller by slouching. We've been taught to be grateful for crumbs when we should be setting the table. That's space abdication. Women: your discomfort with taking up space is someone else's comfort with you staying small. Every time you shrink, you're not just limiting yourself; you're modeling limitation for every woman watching. And trust me, they're watching. (And if you're reading this, you're watching me so I'd BETTER take up space.) Taking up space isn't about becoming aggressive or adopting masculine behaviors (though there's nothing wrong with those either, if they're authentically you). It's about showing up as the full version of yourself, with all your ideas, insights, and yes, your strong opinions intact. Here's your roadmap to claiming your rightful space: 1. Speak first in meetings. Not after you've heard everyone else's thoughts and carefully calibrated your response. Lead with your perspective, then listen and adapt. 2. Stop hedging your expertise. Replace "I'm not an expert, but..." with "In my experience..." You didn't accidentally end up in a leadership role. 3. Take up physical space. Sit forward, not back. Gesture naturally. Use your full vocal range. (I've been accused of not having an "inside voice". Oh well!) Your body language should match the size of your ideas. 4. Own your wins publicly. When someone asks how the project went, don't say "the team was amazing." Say "I'm proud of how I led the team to deliver X results." 5. Interrupt the interrupters. "Let me finish that thought" is a complete sentence. So is "I wasn't done speaking." Your leadership isn't a consolation prize or a diversity initiative. It's a business imperative. The world needs what you bring, but only if you're willing to bring all of it. #womenleaders #communication #executivepresence

Have you ever been told you are too quiet? Maybe you don’t speak up enough so, “people worry about your leadership skills.” Or, you don’t advocate enough for yourself so, “you aren’t taking control of your career like a natural born leader.” If so, this article is for you. Maybe you’ve received feedback that there is concern over your analytical skills and “quant chops.” Or, there is some general, yet vague, feedback that leadership worries, “you lack that killer instinct.” Or, maybe it’s the opposite and you are “too bossy” or “too opinionated.” Have you heard any of these things?  I have over my career. Instead of letting them control my path, I got upset, then angry, then curious. I decided that none of these descriptions were really a good read on me, or my leadership potential, and I decided to change the perception. You can too. I’ve interviewed hundreds of women in senior leadership over the years and one thing is clear: we’re navigating a constant push and pull. Be strong, but not too strong. Be likable, but not too soft. Show your ambition, but don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Women aren’t just doing the job, they’re doing the extra work of managing how they’re perceived while they’re doing the job. We wrote this piece for HBR because it’s important for women to know how to not only subvert stereotypes and shape how others see them, but to do it without losing themselves in the process. Too many of us think there is nothing we can do when we hear feedback that doesn’t feel quite right. Sometimes, there are actions we can take. I love this piece so much because it says we don’t have to be victim to the stories about us or around us, we can do something about it.   1️⃣ Craft a counternarrative – Instead of internalizing biased feedback, reshape how people see you by aligning your strengths with what the organization values (on your terms!). 2️⃣ Use positive association – Enthusiasm and future-focused language can subtly shift others’ assumptions  and build trust. 3️⃣ Turn feedback into power – Don’t immediately accept or reject it, investigate it. Use it to understand what success looks like in your environment, and then find authentic ways to express that in your own leadership style. So if you’ve ever felt like your success depends not just on what you do, but how you’re seen…you’re not imagining it. Especially in times of economic uncertainty and shifting priorities, it becomes even more pronounced. And while there are no one-size-fits-all strategies, when women take control of their story, they open doors for themselves AND others. Let’s stop contorting ourselves to fit outdated models. We can rewrite the models themselves. Let me know what you think. https://lnkd.in/gcCSE7XW Colleen Ammerman Harvard Business Review Lakshmi Ramarajan Lisa Sun

In 2020: I broke down when the pandemic hit In 2023: I broke down because my startup was not growing at the speed I expected A lot of times we break down but this theory in Japan made me feel really optimistic and motivated. In Japan, when something breaks, it doesn’t get discarded. They embrace the imperfections by repairing the broken parts with gold. If a child accidentally drops a piece of pottery, the reaction isn’t anger or frustration. Instead, the pieces are gathered and taken to an artist skilled in kintsugi. It is the art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, the golden seams highlight them, turning the broken object into something even more beautiful and valuable. This approach is a powerful metaphor for life. Instead of trying to erase our mistakes, failures, or challenges, we can embrace them and use them to grow stronger. Here are some lessons we can learn from kintsugi and how they apply to both our personal and professional lives: 📌 Embrace your imperfections: In life and business, setbacks are inevitable. Instead of hiding our flaws, we should acknowledge and embrace them. Our imperfections tell a story of resilience and growth. 📌 Turn setbacks into strengths: Just like the gold seams in kintsugi make the pottery stronger and more beautiful, our challenges and setbacks can become the very thing that makes us stronger. 📌 Every scar has a story: The highlighted cracks remind us that our personal and professional scars are part of our journey. They tell a story of perseverance, hard work, and growth. 📌 Don’t fear breaking: Life will be hard at times, and that’s okay. The key is not to fear failure but to see it as an opportunity to rebuild. Remember, when we come out on the other side, we’re always stronger and more capable. In the end, kintsugi isn’t just about fixing broken objects. It’s a reminder that broken things can still be beautiful. So promise yourself today that whenever life breaks us, you will always come out stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever. When you face setbacks how do you turn your challenges into growth opportunities? #kintsugi #lifelessons #strength #resilience 

A highly qualified woman sat across from me yesterday.   Her resume showed 15 years of C-suite experience. Multiple awards. Industry recognition.   Yet she spoke about her success like it was pure luck.   SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT of female executives experience this same phenomenon.   I see it daily through my work with thousands of women leaders. They achieve remarkable success but internally believe they fooled everyone.   Some call it imposter syndrome. I call it a STRUCTURAL PROBLEM.   Let me explain...   When less than 5% of major companies have gender-balanced leadership, women question whether they belong.   My first board appointment taught me this hard truth.   I walked into that boardroom convinced I would say something ridiculous. Everyone seemed so confident.   But confidence plays tricks on us.   Perfect knowledge never exists. Leadership requires:   • Recognising what you know • Admitting what you miss • Finding the right answers • Moving forward anyway   Three strategies that transformed my journey:   1. Build your evidence file Document every win, every positive feedback, every successful project. Review it before big meetings. Your brain lies. Evidence speaks truth.   2. Find your circle Connect with other women leaders who understand your experience. The moment you share your doubts, someone else will say "me too."   3. Practice strategic vulnerability Acknowledging areas for growth enhances credibility. Power exists in saying "I'll find out" instead of pretending omniscience.   REALITY CHECK: This impacts business results.   Qualified women: - Decline opportunities - Downplay achievements - Hesitate to negotiate - Withdraw from consideration   Organisations lose valuable talent and perspective.   The solution requires both individual action and systemic change.   We need visible pathways to leadership for women. We need to challenge biased feedback. We need women in leadership positions in meaningful numbers.   Leadership demands courage, not perfect confidence.   The world needs leaders who push past doubt - not because they never experience it, but because they refuse to let it win. https://lnkd.in/gY9G-ibh

Trust is earned through failure, and a system – or team – that never fails cannot be trusted. This is why I try to build teams who are told it’s okay to fail. I believe the endless drive towards perfection ultimately leads to several unintended consequences. Firstly, your team’s mental health will deteriorate – burnout rates will increase. Secondly, you will experience higher rates of turnover. Keep the plug-and-play antics for your devices, not your IT team. Naturally, the combination of burnout and turnover degrades institutional knowledge and weakens the security of your organization. Lastly, a team that cannot fail cannot learn and cannot take accountability. And if you combine all of this together: burnout, turnover, lost knowledge, and an inability to learn and take responsibility, you will build an organization where trust between teams is eroded and a toxic working environment is inevitable. That’s why…it’s okay to fail. It might even be necessary to fail. As long as you learn from failure and try again. #Leadership #Failure #Growth

After 12 years in recruitment, I’ve noticed something uncomfortable. Some of the most capable women in the room quietly hold themselves back. Not because they lack talent or ambition. But because they follow habits that feel responsible yet slowly limit their influence, income and opportunities. Over time, those habits create gaps in seniority, pay and visibility. The women who thrive in the next era of work won’t be the hardest working. They’ll be the most strategic about how they show up. In today's video, I share 4 of the most expensive career mistakes I see senior career women make and how to shift them. 1. Waiting until you’re 100% ready Women tend to apply when they meet almost every requirement, whereas Men tend to apply when they meet around 60%. That gap alone changes career trajectories. The shift: Stop asking “Am I fully ready?” Start asking, “Am I capable of learning the rest?” If you’re 60% aligned, it may already be a stretch opportunity worth stepping into. 2. Shrinking impact with language This shows up as humility, but at senior levels it reads as uncertainty. “I helped with…” “I supported…” “I was involved in…” The shift: Be precise about your contribution. “I led.” “I delivered.” “I drove.” Clarity builds credibility. 3. Assuming your work will speak for itself Many high-performing women believe that if they deliver great work, recognition will follow. But at senior levels, visibility and positioning matter just as much as output. The person holding everything together often gets labelled reliable rather than strategic. The shift: Don’t assume people understand the complexity of what you’ve done. Make the invisible visible. 4. Letting your network go cold Networking often feels optional when you're busy delivering. But the women who move fastest during restructures, AI shifts, or new opportunities all have one thing in common: Warm networks. The shift: Build relationships in seasons of stability, so you have options in seasons of change. None of these patterns means you’re doing something wrong. They simply mean you’ve been playing the game the way many women were taught to. But the rules of careers are changing. The women who understand the strategy behind visibility, positioning and opportunity will create far more leverage over the next decade. I hope you enjoy the video. Save this for later and reshare ♻️ so more women can get ahead in the age of AI.